Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Church boner. Awkwardddd
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This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
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i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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