Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
