never play flip cup with pint glasses
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
