We won't sleep together?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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