just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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