shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
