i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
