The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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