isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
