Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
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