I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
