Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Randomize
