My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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