you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize