i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
