Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
