My room smells like vodka and shame
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
