You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
