he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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