woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Houston, we have a blender
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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