What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
