Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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