No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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