honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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