i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
