Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
