i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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