I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
worst night to have a conscience
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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