SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
