I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
