Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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