let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
His nipple licking is glorious
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