we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Houston, we have a squirter
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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