after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
