Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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