first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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