He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
