guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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