Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
