i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
We left an ass print on the piano.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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