Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
