the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
