Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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