I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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