remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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