He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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