She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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