Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
