That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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