I can tuck mytits in my pants
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize