can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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