keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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